His name was Jerry. He didn't have much with him, just a backpack, a small red water jug, and a mangled cardboard sign that read, "Hungry, please help." As Erin and I drove past him, I began to imagine myself in his position. He had nothing. He looked exhausted...utterly exhausted and completely humbled. Who knows how long he had been standing there waiting for generosity to flow from North Raleigh's plentiful wealth. Who knows how many cars he watched pass without even acknowledging his existence, if you could even call it that. Who knows the depth of the hopelessness this man must feel with every fleeting glance. My heart broke for him.
We drove back to Jerry's post with a turkey sandwich, fries, and a drink. Expecting him to be overjoyed with receiving an entire meal, I excitedly rolled down my window and hung out of the passenger side of the car. As we pulled up, Jerry's eyes grew bigger; filling with what little life he could muster. We stopped and as Jerry shuffled closer, his eyes seemed to retreat, and his demeanor became apprehensive. He reluctantly took the meal with an unsteady hand and mumbled what I consider valuable advice for the future: "A gift card would have been better." God must have opened my heart even more because rather than being put off by his seemingly cold response, I was intrigued. Erin prodded him to explain. Now that I am retelling the story, I am again sickened and infuriated by what we learned.
Jerry went on to tell us that gift cards are better because recently, people have been messing with him; he spoke of how he has found glass and spit in food that people have "generously" offered him. I could see the honesty in him, especially since he explicitly mentioned gift cards rather than money. To say that I was speechless would be an understatement.
Glass? How or why would anyone think of that? His face remained weary of our gift. We assured him that we had just bought it and that it was still warm. We also apologized for the actions of others, to which he responded, "God bless you." I know Jerry enjoyed that meal and I pray that hope was somewhat restored in him.
As soon as I begin to think that I understand the evils of this world, I am quickly reminded of how horrible people actually are. There is nothing in us that is inherently good; we have no power to make constructive or positive decisions. I have taken for granted what it means to be fallen, and I am reminded of the evil that comes out of Godlessness. I will be vigilant of the dark forces that drive human nature. I will watch for vile and diabolical powers that come out of our black hearts. Praise God for His mercy and grace that allows us to be free from our wretchedness; that allows us to overcome our bondage to evil.
I also began to ponder why, when our hearts broke for Jerry, others would endeavor to humiliate the humble. This man had nothing and all he wanted was to eat. His sign didn't request money or alcohol or anything substantial. He wanted to sustain himself. To be completely honest, part of me envies him. He has nothing, but he may have more than most. He has been completely humbled, and only then are you able to see the power of Christ.
Appropriately, today's devotion through journeydevotionals.com speaks of Jesus' humility and the symbolism of His arrival to Jerusalem on a donkey. Jesus' victory came by way of humility, although the journey was not easy. Jerry's journey, like Christ's, has not been easy, and he too has been mistreated, even in his lowly state. Let us make every effort to humble ourselves. Let us struggle for those who struggle and let us give to those who lack.
